Occasionally I see a new person on twitter saying the same things I did when I first started twittering. “What do you do with this thing?” “It seems so useless.” “What do I write?”
What follows is a conversation I had with my husband over the first couple of days I started twittering.
Him: We need to tweet or die.
Me: What?
Him: We need to tweet. I’m sending you an article on it.
Me. I have an account, I watch the guy on CNN, but I don’t get it.
Him: What don’t you get?
Me: What do people tweet about? What do I care if someone is going to the store?
Him: I’m sending the article. Tweet or die.
……
Me: Somebody’s “following” me.
Him: Who?
Me: I don’t know, a doctor somebody. She’s following me. I don’t get it. What does she care if I’m going to the store or not?
Him: Well, it’s like having a conversation with someone in a room. Not everything is a pearl. You sit in a room with someone and you tell them, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Me: I don’t get it.
……
Me: I’m pathetic.
Him: What?
Me: I’m a pathetic human being and it’s all your fault.
Him: Oh dear god. What did I do?
Me: You said that we need to “tweet or die”
Him: Oh, and your tweeting?
Me: YES! It’s pathetic!
Him: I thought you thought it was stupid?
Me: It IS stupid!
Him: But you’re doing it.
Me: Yes! And you tell me “tweet or die, tweet or die” then you don’t tweet!
Him: So you’ve been tweeting all day?
Me: Well no, not all day, but enough to make me pathetic. Enough to say, “Hey, how come nobody’s tweeting?” I have 6 followers you know.
Him: Well, that’s impressive.
Me: Yeah, but the one person I should be tweeting with won’t tweet with me!
Him: Who’s that?
Me: Grace.
Him: Grace won’t tweet with you? Why not?
Me: Because she’s too busy on Facebook.
Him: Well you know, there’s software now that will send all your tweets to your facebook page.
Me: Silence.
Me: That’s pathetic.
Him: You knew it had to come, didn’t you?
Me: I have to go. I don’t know how I have time to feed the cats when I need to be tweeting. I’ll talk to you later.
……
I’m so pathetic. I”m a pathetic human being. 😉